Going soon?

Cookie started out the day as usual: bright-eyed, alert and cheerful.  I treasure the smile of recognition she gives me every morning when I first walk into her room.  But this morning was different; she wanted to talk.  She said that she thought she would being “going soon.”  I asked if she meant today and she said yes.

I’m not sure what to make of it.  It is 11:00 p.m. as I write this and today has been similar to other days this week.  Her O2 levels are down a bit from what they had been for several days, but not significantly.  She has been comfortable.  For the first time in awhile she stated directly that she was hungry.  She managed to drink water out of a small tumbler by herself without spilling much.   But still she feels that she is very close to the end.

I managed to create a bit of drama this evening.  When the humidifier on the oxygen concentrator was low on water I switched her to an oxygen tank so that I could refill the bottle.  I then noticed that the regulator on the bottle went to 15 liters/minute so I gave her that for a few minutes while I took care of the concentrator.  Afterwards when she was back on the concentrator, I checked her blood O2 level.  It had jumped up to 86-87 from the 78-79.  But the concentrator only goes to 10 liters/minute, so I decided to call hospice to see if there was anyway to provide more oxygen, realizing any relief it provided would be temporary.  After calling Dr. Wiens, a hospice nurse arrived with the options of a mask or an oxymizer, a sort of surge chamber for the cannula.  Cookie nixed the mask immediately and the oxymizer didn’t seem to have any effect due to Cookie’s mouth breathing.  Meanwhile Cookie’s O2 levels fell into the lower 70s.  In the end we have switched to using the original cannula in the mouth and her O2 levels are back up to 80.

Pray that we can remain calm when things seem to be going downhill.  That Cookie would continue to be comfortable and pain-free.


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This entry was posted in Cancer, Drivial Drone, Whole-life Stewardship. Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Going soon?

  1. cornelia krahn says:


    I’m so sorry for your very great loss.



  2. raideliz@hotmail.com says:

    Peace be with both of you.
    Elizabeth, in Ohio at the moment

  3. Dot Wildman says:

    Dear Dave and Cookie,

    It was lovely to hear of that smile of regognition. Sorry about the drama and worry. We remember you every day.


    Pete and Dot. xx

  4. Thinking of you both, and love you dearly.

  5. guenthers says:

    our thoughts and prayers are with you both…

  6. Beth Piper says:

    We think of you both tonight.
    We are walking on the bike trail in a few minutes.
    We will miss bumping into you.
    We will take pictures for you of the creek, the water, and the sun with our mind and send them to you. Love you. Beth and Jon

  7. mira says:

    Much love to both of you. Mira

  8. Ben & Sangeeta says:

    Praying for you Dave …

  9. Eldon Esau & Jan Regier says:

    Dear Dave and Cookie,
    I’ve been following your posts for over a year, the focus has rightly been on Cookie’s condition with glimpses of Dave’s struggle as well. I’ve been feeling Kubler/Ross stages, desperately hanging on to denial. It was good to see you last Sunday and say if not in this life then the next
    We will see you again!
    Jan & Eldon

  10. cornelia krahn says:

    You are in my thoughts and prayers every hour, David and Cookie. I’m wearing the bracelet and thinking of you.
    Good memories of how much you enjoyed watching Katherine’s dogs in your back yard at Christmas.

  11. Dana Crider says:

    Dear Dave and Cookie,

    All love from Woodstock again this Sunday evening. We continue to uphold you in prayer and love you both. Wish we could be closer. Rest in our Lord’s grace and peace.

    Dana and Judy Crider

  12. Caprice Becker says:

    We are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. Anythng I say seems pithy at t his point. However: Dave, remember to keep up your strength, allowing all the help you need while staying as close to her as you need to.

    With love


  13. Charlotte watson says:

    Dearest Dave and Cookie
    Holding you both and all the family so very much in our love and prayers. May God’s peace surround you and dwell within you.
    Our love
    Pete x & Charlotte x

  14. kmrulka@gmail.com says:

    With you in Spirit, Dave and Cookie.
    Holding you in our hearts tonight.
    May there be comfort each and every moment.
    Love from Kathleen and Brian

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